Choosing a Therapist

Choosing a therapist can seem as daunting as beginning therapy in the first place. I believe a set of guidelines can lead to a good match. And I always stress the biggest predictor of a positive outcome in therapy is a good relationship with your therapist. The best advice I got from my first therapist many years ago when I was moving to a new state was “remember: your therapist works for you; if you don’t like them you can fire them.” In one way or another, I have said that to every person I have ever worked with, even the children. And I mean it: no therapist is the right therapist for everyone.

There are some good ways to predict if a particular therapist will be a good match. Many people turn to friends or even family members as they seek a therapist. This often results in a good match: if someone you know and trust likes someone, the chance that you will too is a little higher. Be aware that a therapist won’t always see a family member of a client or sometimes a close friend to avoid a potential conflict of interest. Doctors and other health professionals are also good sources for a referral because they usually know of therapists in the area who might be a good match for you.

Besides a referral, many people look online for a therapist. The Psychology Today Therapist Finder website is a good place to start.  For transparency, therapists listed on that site pay a monthly fee to be listed. There are other sites for finding therapists, most of which are also paid listings.

The PT website allows you to filter your searches. For example if you are looking for a couples therapist or one who works with trauma issues you can include that, and you can filter by your insurance as well. You can search by zip code, town or therapist name. You will then see a list based on how you searched. Therapists have profiles, and most include a picture. You can see their specialties, what types of clients they see (children, adults, couples, families), and what insurances they take (so you don’t end up making calls to people who don’t take your insurance). Many therapists have a link to their own website which can give you more of a feel for who they are.

When I have my first conversation with someone looking for therapy, I ask about health insurance up front, to avoid the disappointment of a great conversation followed by the realization I don’t take their insurance. Next I usually ask if they have any questions for me. These questions are often about how I work, my experience in a certain area, and sometimes if I have worked with people who have had a particular issue. Many people don’t have questions. After I’ve answered any questions, I ask if they could tell me a little bit about why they are calling, so I can determine if it is in my scope of practice.

But I want to reiterate what I said at the beginning of this blog, research has shown that the best predictor of a good outcome in therapy is the quality of the therapeutic relationship. Your therapist should help you feel empowered, not intimidated. If you don’t feel connected to your therapist after a few sessions, move on. I appreciate an open conversation with someone when this happens, and I am always happy to recommend someone I think might be a better fit.

I hope you find the right person for you and start moving forward to the life you want to live.
Peace.